Go Home, Mourinho, You’re Drunk (I Hope)

Well, well, well, once again the newest king of complaints was at it again following Chelsea’s nil-nil draw with Atlético Madrid. The manager who once dubbed himself “The Special One” has apparently become as pedestrian and average as any other manager with a ridiculously rich owner, a squad of internationals that go two deep at every position and still contrive to play some of the most boring* football in the modern game.

Forgive me for actually thinking someone who has won numerous titles before and has gone through numerous Champions’ League campaigns, would understand the rigors and the potential pitfalls that going deep into the competition would bring. But nope, ol’ Jose, is complaining about having to face Liverpool prior to his team’s next CL match. The complaint goes that in Spain (as they do in many other countries as well) they reschedule clubs’ fixtures to help their sides potential progress in continental competitions. Well, Moaninho, maybe if you hadn’t worn out your welcome in Madrid then you could’ve taken advantage of that Spanish FA entitlement. I’m pretty sure it was you that chose to accept the Chelsea job and you weren’t forced into the role under the terms of some indentured servitude.

To quote the Moaning One:

“I think that’s a decision I have to listen the club. I’m just a piece, I’m just the manager and no more than that.

“I have to listen to the club. I think the fact that the match is on Sunday I think puts the problem not in my hands.

“We represent English football and we are the only English team that is European competition. Spain has four and gave them all the conditions to try to have success.

“I know what I would do, but I’m not the club. I have to speak with the club.

“I would play with the players that are not going to play Wednesday.”

Now, I’m biased. I don’t like Chelsea. I don’t like Mourinho. I think on the whole they’re both pretty classless and they tend to act like nouveau riche punks. They may have class in ability but class of character, no way. I’m sure if you’re a Chelsea fan, you’ll argue against that but then again you were probably one of the ones singing through the moment of silence the weekend of the Hillsborough remembrances.

Anyway, to make a short story long, since Mourinho isn’t man enough to admit he’s thrown in the towel for the league title openly, this is what these comments are supposed to mean- “I’ve given up the league and I’m only concentrating on the Champions’ League.” He wants to have an out for when the possibility of Chelsea not getting a result versus Liverpool may occur. He wants to have an excuse handy because this what people like Mourinho, who are highly successful and are quite narcissistic, do when they either don’t accomplish their goals or when people begin to become fed up with their asinine antics. They can’t just hold their hands up and say “yep, I just didn’t accomplish what I set out to do, fair play and congratulaitons to (whomever).” Instead they line up excuses, tend to talk in trite coach speak and hide behind these contrived grievances such as the scheduling (because, you know, he didn’t know about this before in his prior stint at Chelsea, amirite?).

So, go home, Jose, you’re drunk. Or at least I hope you are because if not then you’re just becoming a completely whiny, sniveling, tedious, little man. You have numerous trophies but your class and character wouldn’t even fill an ant-sized thimble halfway. Perhaps Abramovich should bring back The Di Matteo One? All he did was win a cup double and got sacked for it. Surely a second year without a trophy at one of the largest clubs in Europe would signal perhaps the beginning of an era of “specialty in failure,” no?

* – Seriously, Chelsea fans, you lot could save a whole bunch of money and still win with Mourinho’s “counterattacking” style. At this point you’re just an overpriced, albeit highly successful, version of West Ham. Booooooooooorrrrrrrrring!

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